FRIDAY'S LETTER TO MY DAUGHTERS

Dear Candice, Lexie, Sarah, Kristen and Allie,

Okay, I know I’m going to take a great deal of grief for creating this section of my blog. Particularly, because of the times we are a living; an age when you and your peers communicate primarily through abbreviated text messaging lingo such as BFF, OMG, LOL and too many other abbreviations of the English language to mention. However, since God blessed me with the five of you, whom are each the LOML, I hope and believe that if not now, maybe one day you will find some, if not all of my letters of some benefit to you.

As you know, I am an idealist and romantic, which may offer some explanation for my love of and appreciation for the English language and beautifully written words. The inclination to merely accept the ideas, ideals or practices of others for which I fail to see the merit comes neither naturally nor easily for me. The term used to describe such is free spirit, although some prefer rebel; a discussion I’ll defer for another time. I only offer this explanation about me so that you may better understand my frustration with the way we use, or in many case don't use our language today. Which, in turn, may help you understand what motivated me to share my thoughts with the five of you about the dying art of substantive, eloquent, intelligent communication.

I’d ask you to think about the power of words; those you use and those used by others. Spoken or written, the words we choose have the power to incite emotion. They can cause anger and division, unity and peace, love and affection, admiration and connection, and any other emotion in the human psyche. Think about the times you've said something to someone or vice versa that incited just the emotion you, or they had hoped. Now think about times that the opposite occurred. Consider words from books you’ve read, songs you've heard and movies you’ve watched that have had a long lasting impact on you. Are you getting the picture? Is it possible that slang or abbreviated English might have the same lasting impact?

It’s been said that words are like living organisms, capable of growing, spreading and changing the world, directly or indirectly. We know that the bible is the Living Word of God. It could be said that each of our words are living parts and forever living evidence of each of us. This alone should cause us to become more conscious about the words we use and how we use them.

Why should this matter to you? Because hundreds of years from now, or in a matter of minutes, any one person’s words, including yours, could inspire or comfort someone. Because you have an inherent responsibility to your own creation and to your own legacy to learn, understand, and use words that speak to the person you are. Developing and demonstrating a self imposed, educated curiosity about life, the world around you, your purpose on earth, and any one or more topics of the endless array from which you have to choose allows you to grow spiritually, intelligently and socially. That, in turn, allows you to foster similar growth in those around you and the world at large.

Consider the following quoted phrases : I have a dream, Four score and seven years ago, We the people, For God so loved the world, We can do no great things, only small things with great love, Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and with all of your mind, Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country, Our Father who art in heaven, I will never leave you or forsake you, and I love you. These are just a small sampling from an infinite list of powerful, yet simple phrases that in most cases left behind a powerful legacy for the entire world.

The last gift I ever received from my little sister Stephanie before she passed away almost fourteen years ago was a letter she had written and mailed to me and Allen the day before she died. It was in our mailbox when we returned home from her funeral; her words, straight from her heart, filled with her legendary humor and wisdom. There they were… her words, now in my hands; pieces of her that would live on forever in my heart and soul. It is a gift that will forever remain one of my most treasured.

I hope this might encourage each of you to think about the power of your words and the lasting legacy they can have. I hope you'll consider dissenting every now and then from the norm of today’s abbreviated, impersonal methods of communication. Reach for a pen and pieces of paper and send someone an unexpected, welcomed letter filled with your words; living pieces of you. Read more books about topics that interest you or just for the simple pleasure of reading another person's words, so that you, your family and friends can have intellectually stimulating conversations about matters that touch your heart. Sit down and have a long, interesting conversation with someone on the phone or in person, always aware that your words might make a difference in their life today. And finally, make it a point today to learn a new word and then learn more, so you can express yourself in a way that speaks directly to who you are.

I love the five of you with all of my heart, and yes, along with your dad, you will forever be the LOML, or as I prefer to express myself, the "Loves Of My Life!” I wish you joy, peace, and grace.

Lovingly yours,
Mom

P.S. Next Friday, I will share my thoughts, in a much lighter tone, about family traditions.

THE IMPORTANCE OF OUR WORDS

Allen and I recently began watching, and have almost completed, John Adams a seven part movie based on David McCullough’s Pulitzer Prize winning biography about the founding of our nation and America's second President. There is so much to learn from this beautifully done series. I highly recommend it to anyone who has not yet had the opportunity to see it.

Of the many things I’ve learned, perhaps there is none that impressed and moved me more than the eloquent, powerful ways that words both influenced the founding of our nation and impacted the lives of her people. The words used throughout this series, those spoken in general conversations or in very heated (albeit civil) debates (both publicly and privately) and words written in private letters or expressed in the extraordinary, legendary documents that remain our nation’s guidepost, are an impressive exercise in the importance of articulation and persuasion.

Which got me thinking…how wisely do we choose and use our words today? With that in mind, I’ve decided to dedicate my Friday blog to my five daughters, Candice, Sarah, Lexie, Kristen and Allie in an entry coming this Friday that I’m calling simply:

• Friday’s Letter to My Daughters.
  

AN EXTRA PLACE AT THE TABLE

I’ve been so entranced by the beauty of the fall foliage this year. It seems to me that there’s no other region of our country more clearly defined or richly blessed by the contrasts of each of the four seasons than those we have in the south. While there’s something distinctly special about all four seasons, I admire the way that fall brings its own unique certainties and semblances. For me, fall ushers in a quiet sense of peace and a more poignant gratefulness for the abundant blessings that I’ve received in my life.

I imagine that Thanksgiving and the impending arrival of winter and Christmas have as much to do with my affections for fall as anything; moments that are so profoundly infused with love, family and tradition. It seems, the older and hopefully wiser I get, the more consciously aware and more spiritually sensitive I become towards the awesome simplicity, and yet enormous complexity, of these and so many other of life’s amazing relationships and experiences. God, in His infinite wisdom, His undeniable mercy and His loving kindness; God, in all His omnipotence; designed, created, and gifted it all to us. And then, through the remarkable gift of free-will, He simply asks that we care.

What does that mean? It means that we become more aware of life and begin to cherish it more. It means that we care more about and love one another deeper, at home and around the world; our fellow human beings all over the earth. It means that we eradicate, in an inquisitive, thoughtful yet real way, the ideas of evil and hate, transforming them into ideas of clarity and charity. It means that we stop the suffering and poverty that has become a breeding ground for such hate and evil. It means that we care more about God and His will, rather than our own.

How do we do this? We do this by reflecting the grace, humility, and mercy that God has shown us. We do this by ridding our spirits of obstacles that impede us in fulfilling the purpose of our creation. Obstacles such as judgments, unkindness, untruths, prejudices, intolerances, selfishness, and greed, both in our words and our deeds. We do this by putting into action the wisdom in Gandhi’s famous quote, “Become the change you wish to see in this world.”

As I witness another change of season, dressed now in vivid tinges of amber and red, and begin to prepare our home for Thanksgiving, my heart is filled with tremendous gratefulness and a child-like excitement. In just a few short days, our house will be filled with the sights, sounds and scents of the beauty of this season. Allen and I, our five daughters, three sons-in-law, three granddaughters, my mother and step father, my brother, sister-in-law, niece and nephew will all come together to celebrate Thanksgiving, as so many families around the country will do. And while I am deeply thankful and thrilled to share this day of abundant blessings with each of them and any other family member or friend who may wish to come, it’s the two or three who are coming as guests, strangers to all but the ones who invited them, who have me just as excited.

Through the years, not just on holidays, our home has always been an open welcoming place to anyone who needs a warm meal, a safe place to sleep, or a soft place to land. It is the better side of this family and the side that Allen and I cherish most. Especially at this time of year, each year our family welcomes into our home guests who have no other place to share in the blessings of Thanksgiving Day and Christmas Eve. Their reasons for having no such place are as varied as they themselves and truly make no difference to us. There are no special requirements. Any age, any race, any religion, any need; everyone is welcome…on holidays or any other day or night one may so be in need.

This year, as we meet and welcome our guests, I pray that ours may always be a home that offers an extra seat at the table. I pray that ours will always be a home whose family remains keenly aware of and grateful for our blessings, and that we will be generous in sharing those blessings with anyone who has a need, whether spiritual, physical, material or emotional. I pray that in doing so, we always strive to reflect the face of Christ; a face of grace, humility and mercy. And finally, I pray that this Thanksgiving Day and every other day, we will always be a family open to entertaining angels, should God be so inclined to send us one.

HAPPY FALL TO YOU AND YOURS!